The closing of Goldfeather Studio
Warning Friends… This 1st post is a lonnnnggggg one! And I cannot promise you that I used perfect Grammar. HA!
There have been so many big feelings around closing the Goldfeather Studio. I decided to take some time to sit down and write about them. It really helps me process everything to get it all out but I also thought it could be helpful to share as maybe some of you are going through a loss of some sort too and can relate.
You see, closing the Studio wasn’t how I wanted it to go, but sometimes as they say the Universe has other plans right? Still, it’s such a hard pill to swallow sometimes. It often feels like when a really big thing happens to us, not of our choosing, we then go kicking and screaming into the “WHY ME” territory. I definitely did that with this. I was like…. but why though!? It’s so beautiful here, I worked so hard to get here and to get this amazing of a space that seemed like such a perfect fit for what I was trying to create with Goldfeather. During my time with the Studio, I would often get the question “…but don’t you think you would do better if you were on the street level,” and sometimes I wanted to clap back with “but don’t you see? You don’t get the vision though” HA! But I would come back to my heart center and not be testy and respond with - but thats not what I want. What I wanted was exactly what the Studio was. A little Parisan Atelier style vibe, by appointment only. But….that wasn’t really how it was seen or received by many. The few that did get it though…they got it! And I am so damn grateful they did because it is for those INCREDIBLY SPECIAL ladies, memories and moments that I am cherishing so deeply. You see I wanted The Goldfeather Studio to be a Showroom of sorts that I could stylize and merchandise in a way that felt creatively inspiring, I wanted a spot to organize my shipping area and I wanted a place to just keep everything that went into keeping Goldfeather a business, all organized. Beyond that I wanted a space where people could come in and shop and try things on and and have a very loving and nurturing experience with good music and complimentary Tea (I just really love taking care of people, it must be my Cancer Sun).
I also really wanted a place where we could have Pop Up’s not just us but with other businesses too. A place where we could gather and be in community and have classes and events and parties and whatever else we could dream up in such a lovely space with the most dreamy natural light. I wanted to have a little office and a nice kitchen. A place I could get away to (after bursting out of our home office for years) and let the creative juices flow without interruption or judgement. Somewhere I could turn the music up, if it was that kind of day, and dance in-between packing orders, steaming, pricing, taking pics and doing LIVES.
Well, you know what I realized? I actually did all of that. I received all of that. I just didn’t get it for as long as I thought I was supposed to have it for and that my friends is where it got tricky.
I had this idea that I was “supposed” to be there for a long time. That even though financially for the last 6 months it was no longer working, I had this notion that I had to push through and keep the Studio, For fear I wouldn’t be valid anymore or taken as seriously or that….. I had failed. So much was wrapped up in that part you guys. The failure part! That because I couldn't see it through for longer, I had failed. But I did all the things there that I wanted to do……. why wasn’t that enough for me!? I couldn’t see with clear eyes that it was no longer working. and with my whole being, I just didnt want that to be true. The Studio was mine, It was Goldfeather. It was my safe space. And now I realize that is what it was…. it was a safe space. For me and for many others. A place where some of the best talks and connections on the planet occurred. It was kind of like my Cocoon for the last few years while I went through some personally really challenging times. I am so grateful. I am so grateful I got to experience that iteration of Goldfeather for myself and with so many other people. Even though I was always secretly wishing that more people would come shop and book appointments, that just wasn’t how it went. For whatever reason people didnt. I was constantly making up stories in my head about what that was but now I realize that is just how it went and the people that did come in made it so worthwhile. I’ve often done that thing in my life where I wish for more or for it to be different than how it is and not just fully present and grateful for how its going. It’s a constant practice now of checking in and seeing where I can keep bringing the gratitude back in. Now, I am so grateful. I am looking back on my time there at The Studio with so much gratitude and a big smile when I think of it. I have not fully processed all of the feelings of loss around it and I still don’t totally understand yet why it did’nt work out for longer but I can definitely say that I am moving through all the big feelings around the loss of it much better now and really working toward acceptance for how it turned out. I can also wholeheartedly say that even though the closing of The Studio felt really uncomfortable, I am so glad that I followed a dream and went for it and I wouldn’t change that for anything if I had to do it all over again.
In gratitude,
-Lisa
